Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Yesterday No More,Today is Here,Tomorrow is Unclear............

I was so mute today,morning to evening....dunno why maybe it is about last night,after i made a brave decision about sumthing...sumthing that may affect my life....i opened up my notebook,and start to write what my heart wanna tell...i have to,because if i keep it in my heart,i'm afraid it was too late...at least it will relieve my heart...it's taking long time to think what i'm gonna tell her...and finally i finished it....i put it on the envelope...hope she can accept it........That morning,i came early to office, 7.55 am........nobody at office at that time,only i see 2 friends and other staff that came earlier than me...She not arrived yet..maybe 8.30am...sadly today is her last day here..Yesterday she not came,for some reason...Friends and I going to have a breakfast first...with 3 fellows including boss,not my boss but other group boss..He talk about next year budget for upcoming project...but he notice that "Big Guy" only approve very small amount of budget,maybe to cut down all unrelated expenses..I don't want to bother,that boss's jobs..She has arrived when we back..I just don't wanna to talk to her,pretending i'm busy...but suddenly there were a lot task to do,the urgent one after receiving email from other department..So i have to concentrate on work..i wanna talk to her actually,but i can't..today i heard only one song from my winamp.a song from Korean Movie:My Sassy Girl - I believe...again and again i play that song...the movie was good,eventhough i don't know what they said....i leave my Yahoo Messenger on,i guess she will buzz me for not talking talking her...and as i thought,she buzz me.."Wah betul betul busy yek!"...i leave it for a while to finish my task..then i reply to her.."ooo tak balas pun msg kite semalam yek!"...i sent her 2 sms yesterday,without reply..."lupe nak balas" she reply..."majuk ke?"......that words appear in the box...but i denied to her...actually i've planned going to cinema with her today,but she didn't reply my sms,i assume tak jadi...i remember the letter i wrote last night,still in my bag....slowly i took out and replace back the envelope i use with my company envelope....and seal it with company sticker too..suddenly there were fire drill..and all staff run out to outside..never knew there was an exercise on it..but our staff didn't act like there were a fire in the building..hahahah..including me..just relax going downstairs where other staff used to run to downstairs..That session so boring..but useful...After that my boss want me and my colleague to attend proposal briefing from vendor..proposal on new systems...my job is to ask the vendor what they offer to us in their proposed system..i'm not ready to ask that kind of question because didn't have any information about that..only 2 3 question..but it quite useful..i heard the budget for that proposed system will be reach RM 1.5M...very big figure... . i continue my work until lunch time comes....usually i use my lunch time to stay at office...just continue my work and checking emails.That's why my body so kurus,because tak kuat makan,takde selera or no mood...but today i change my mind.....i go out alone going to Giant hypermarket buy some juice...that i have in mind....then i walk alone around hypermarket,stop by in bookstore to search for pc magazine.....then i follow my step to a gift shop,to see something intereting to give for her...suddenly something has caught my eyes,something that really cute and suitable for her...maybe this is a good choice...i took it and ask for packanging to salesgirl...she wrap up my gift in a creative way....well, a gift and a letter from heart... i managed to ask for help from my friend to give her the gift...why not i give to her by my hand?...i don't want her to know that gift came from me...it's 5.30pm......time to go home but she still with the notebook,playing game with friends....my friend gave the gifts in front of me, including the letter in the plastic bag.....im afraid she will read that letter in front of me....i decided to pack my notebook and going back home...later that night, i receive a sms from her while im reciting Quran...im afraid to read it, so i leave it until i finish reciting....she really appreciate for that gift,i smile.... but she never give me the answer that i waiting for ....leaving me in a question...time will tell............................................

BRIAN McKNIGHT "My Kind Of Girl"

When I was younger never went to far
Held my feelings and never even wanted to start
so when i met you, i didnt know
what you were gonna do with my heart
When you talk (I cling on every word you say)
when you walk (Just like a breeze on a summer day)
when you smile (the sky turns from grey to blue, thats what you do)
And your the kind of girl I think of
and your the kind of girl I dream about
my heart is telling me that I need you in my world (in my world)
cause you my kind of lady (your my kind of girl)
When I'm not with you, where ever you are
baby I'm counting the moments till I'm back in your arms
all I want is to have you here with me
every night and every day, when you talk
(I cling on every word you say)
when you walk (Just like a breeze on a summer day)
when you smile (the sky turns from grey to blue, thats what you do)
And your the kind of girl i think of
and your the kind of girl i dream about
my heart is telling me that I need you in my world (in my world)
cause you my kind of lady (your my kind of girl)
Baby girl I need you here by my side
and if your there everything will be alright
cause this is the time for us, baby be mine
And your the kind of girl I think of
and your the kind of girl I dream about
my heart is telling me that I need you in my world (in my world)
cause you my kind of lady (your my kind of girl)



With my cutie nephew...she now 3 years old.. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Talking bout people that i love....

Monday,first day of the week,some said Sunday...well, anyone can say first day of the week hari ape..because they have their perception. So sudah 3 hari (since friday) tak writing ape2...Nak tulis, tapi busy with my jobs.Baru tahu mcmana kerja kat sini,since my first day here...well, i do really like the job,hope to gain more knowledge and experience here and making new friends...A helpful friends,not a friend which with us when happy,and gone when we needed them..So far, im happy with this place, dapat kenal ramai kawan, eventhough i'm a shy person, not talking so much..Thank God i have good friends,and for all my friends out there,wherever you're,I love you all very much!! Thanks for being my good friends...Some of them dah fly keluar negara,to further study...i'm very appreciate of their achievement.
.... Well, other than friends, most person yg patut kita sayang is our father and mother,and especially mother...Because she have given birth to us....One of the friend of our Prophet has asked him,"Who should we love in this world?", and he says" Your mother"..Then the friend ask again 3 time, which Prophet repy with the same answer, and for the forth answer,he said"Your father"....Not to said that father is not important,but the person that we must care and love most is mother...So my friends out there,if you still have your mother,take care of herself,don't hurt her heart...and those who their mother has passed away, don't forget to berdoa akan kesejahteraannya....
"Mak, I always love you,terima kasih kerana membesarkan dan mendidik saya hingga menjadi org yg berguna,taat kepada ibubapa...never forget to pray for mak and ayah each time solat...I wanna be a good person, a person that can make others happy... Mak has teached me how to berdikari, berusaha dgn sendiri...honest,be good to people and jgn bercinta masa blajar..."Jangan nak bercinta,blajar pandai2 dulu!",the words that i remember when she send me to register at UiTM during diploma..Cannot forget her tears when i want to leave her to further study, after 17 years in her care. Well mak, i've prove myself to you, to become knowledgeable person,good person as you want me to be.....
Friends,mom...i've mention that....my father also,not so much to tell...but he's the 2nd after my mom, the person that gave an impact in my life...to be a good muslim....i miss someone to tell...because i still keep searching for it to give 'this love'.Got someone in mind, but too shy to tell her that i really like her...hoping for a chance to know her heart... she so nice...is she really now that?....time will tell that...




Monday, October 11, 2004


Me at home Posted by Hello