Saturday, October 30, 2004

Not feeling well....

Saturday...nothing to do with this day...almost miss sahur, wake up at 0520 am although i am awake at 0400 am after my phone clock ringing..only sempat to take a cup of nestum i bought yesterday and kurma..not to forget 2 tablet of panadol....my head rasa sakit lagi,badan pun so weak...rasa nak demam from yesterday...maybe sebab redah hujan the day before..every evening hujan..hmmmmso many things to think..make my brain pain...from job to personal life....if there a sea in front of me, rasa mcm nak berenang like malik maidin,nama pun same but bapak n mak je lelain...hahaaha..Being a networkman make me to have a big responsibility to learn and to research something new..well i deserve for that. my headache come when to think a lot of think in a same time...i have to manage the time for myself...when we work,just concentrate on it....minimize time to do other thing that not related to work....so now i have to get serious in work..my bos has give something to do,some 1 to 2 projects for me to get involve..must study the project..paper Troubleshooting tak ambil lagi,some of my friends dah ambil yesterday... dunno the result..maybe my turn lepas raya..i must to work hard on this paper,sebab friends cakap susah..several have failed, i don't want to fail anymore after fail in Switching paper...mengecewakan..hope to pass in this last paper,so i can afford to use my own money to retake back Switching paper...dengar dah naik dah exam fee utk paper CCNP tu..about RM580..that all my fault not to study very well..it's not just not my fault,that training center late to booking the exam..it's been a year now actually i take that course..sepatutnya diorang buat exam tu after budak2 habis study,that time our brain still fresh and remember what we have learnt..when going to practical training,not all of us will have an opportunity to apply what we have learn because of company yang provide tempat praktical tu..ada yg kerja mcm kerani pun ade,buat kerja office,not the networking one..for me and some of my friend are lucky sebab kerja kat tempat yg ada la related to network....hoping demam akan berakhir hari ni, so bleh la buat kerja skit2,n study.....several days ago my friend give this quote:
"Perempuan itu selembut agar2,jgn d lentur secara mengejut, nanti ia patah, perempuan itu ibarat api yg panas, sejukkan ia dgn nasihat selembut sutera, jiwa wanita itu sedingin salju, panaskannya dgn belaian kasih sebening kristal..... "
" Nafsu mengatakan perempuan itu cantik atas dasar rupanya. Akal mengatakan perempuan itu cantik atas dasar ilmu dan kepintarannya. Dan hati mengatakan perempuan itu cantik atas dasar akhlaknya....."
kata2 tu membuatkan ku berfikir sejenak...tentang kebenarannya..adakah selama ini aku mengikut kata hati atau pandangan mata?..hingga hari ini masih lagi memikirkan mengenainya...



Woman
Woman I can hardly express

My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all I'm forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success

Ooh, well, well

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Woman I know you understand

The little child inside of the man
Please remember my life is in your hands
And woman hold me close to your heart
However distant don't keep us apart
After all it is written in the stars

Ooh, well, well

Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Ooh, well, well
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo

Well Woman please let me explain
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain
So let me tell you again and again and again

I love you, yeah, yeah

Now and foreverI love you, yeah, yeah
Now and foreverI love you, yeah, yeah
Now and foreverI love you, yeah, yeah

-from john lennon

Thursday, October 28, 2004

The Blurry....

here i am, shouting out of nowhere...i feel like i want to fly like superman,crawling and swinging from building to building like a spiderman,turn to green like hulk...but i can't...all i can is to be myself, myself where everybody used to know me...trying to be the best of myself, but sometimes i can't..when something turn to uncertainty, we never knew what is going on...today seem like not usual or better then yesterday.....i trying to be nice to people,but sometimes i can't hide my expression to them when not in a mood..i try to smile, but there is no sweet on it....in the phone, i serve the call politely....got a call of urgency task of broadband activation..that task come into our group bucket this morning,and they want it as soon as possible because customer want it..actually every task must follow the timeline of procedure for activating the line..normally 8 days working...but in case of urgency, we can do it in 3 days,but the person who request for urgency must have the urgent form submit to us..we have follow the procedure right?.....now i can feel what my others team had faced such problem for many years.. that person want it quickly,ok i can do it..gimme 15 to 30 minutes to settle it..in the same time i have to receive other call, especially that technician man who work deploying the modem into customer site.. if they have some problem regarding connection or IP, i have to guide them until the problem settle. then the interruption may delay my time to finish the urgent one..then i finish preparing the letter for customer,waiting to print it..before that , i have to configure the IP for customer in the Alcatel switch..got some warning when saving the configuration...i don't know whether i will affect the operation on the switch because other customer also have their port on that switch...that person call again.."Dah siap ke?..saya tunggu kat bawah nie! nak amik surat dengan modem tu.."..that person rushed me.."ada problem skit kat switch,saya tgh config IP utk customer nie..tunggu kejap boleh?"..i replied.."mmm dah lambat ni,so kalau camtu takpe la hold dulu nanti esok ke ambik.." i feel like to blow up..."oooo ok ok"...so easy that person said like that, after i spend my time concentrating myself to finish that task...it's about 10am that time..why that person can't wait for that..hmmmm then i said to my team "tadi dia ni nak cepat sangat,lepas tu dah takpe pulak!"....my team members smile to me.."hhaha malek dah mula marah2,biasa la diorang ni malek nak cepat je..kitorang pun dah banyak kali kena mcm tu"..actually tak la marah2,cume tension skit dah,cume suruh tunggu kejap jer nak verify config kat switch tu..itu pun tak boleh tunggu..biasa la,that person tak tau kerja kami kat sini mcmana...ingat mcm sain buku check agaknya...hahahaha tghari tu going to carrefour to bought new phone.Sony Ericcson T630...budget nak beli T610 kat kl, dah bayar deposit about 10 ringgit,but suddenly tak jadi beli kat sane because of some reason...hampa...dont want to story here....boring2 beli kat sini,carrefour...hilang selera nak ambik T610, i take T630 setelah terpegun dengan cameranya...several friends in office use it...my bos use T610...eventhough i have new phone,my heart not happy...not happy for something...


Yesterday

Yesterday,
all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,There's a shadow hanging over me

I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away.Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Why she had to go I don't know she wouldn't say.

I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.

Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm.

- from beatles

Wednesday, October 27, 2004


Berbuka puasa di Sheraton Subang, vendor blanjer! Posted by Hello

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Smile all the ways....

Good day! sepatutnya hari ni kene pegi Damansara training PacketShaper..last minute dapat message batal jumaat aritu..hmmm bile la pulak tarikh barunye..bagus jugak la tak jadi coz takde org nak handle call n apa2 task..dah 3 org dalam group pegi training yg tinggal 2 org...kak sherry cuti emergency plak arini,so tinggal william backup..mesti pening kepala..nasib baik jugak ler tak jadi training....walaupun tak jadi training hari nie,rasa mcm happy semacam....pagi2 datang kerja budak 2 org tu dah menyakat dah..mazura n asmat.."hai ceria semacam je yek!"dialog mazura dalam YM.."eh iyeker,mcm biase jer jerk!,hiihihihih!" ...hmmm mane taknya...ada la something happen yesterday...teman mimi shopping baju raya..dah la tinggal seorang2 kat umah sebab kene tinggal ngn parent balik kg..ari sabtu aritu ada exam,takleh balik kg..so kebetulan dia nak pegi kl cari baju raya,ikut la skali...kot2 bleh cari skali. daripada terperap kat rumah je..semalam pun berbuka kat kl, tak sempat nak berbuka kat sini...yela dah kuar petang,shopping takkan la kejap je..kalau dah sampai 4 5 beg kain tuuu..kite pun terbeli jugak la kain utk baju melayu,warna cream white..maybe utk raya haji,dah tak sempat utk raya nie...well lagi pun raya cume 2 hari jek, lepas tu dah kene keje balik...workaholic!..utk adik2 tu belikan diorang sampin 2 helai....abg dia nie tak berbaju raya pun takpe...sape lagi nak sayang kat adik2 kalau tak kite abang dia?..nak harapkan abang yg lain2 tu ntah la..it seem like mcm jadi abg sulung je..take care of family,since yg lain tu buat donno jer..hmm malas nak story banyak2 pasal nie..simpan jek dalam hati...as long can cheerful my mother dah cukup,coz she hoping on me...banyak sangat airmata yg dah mengalir melihat perangai anak2 yg tak tahu mengenang jasa........................................................
mmmm back on track, barula siap task tu petang tadi..but tak tunjuk lagi kat my bos..tomorrow la,itu pun tunggu dia mintak dulu..lagi pun tadi dia panggil nak discuss about projek yg baru dapat untuk deploy IPVPN utk UIA..interesting project, but have some problem...but problem tu bleh settle..with sorang lagi otai from backbone group,en. jamal, aku cume dgr je apa yg diorang bincangkan sambil mencelah sekali dua..bos suruh study dulu design yg nak di gunakan...MPLS pun aku dah tak ingat...kene bukak balik buku CCNP tu..arini kat CMS system tak banyak task yg dispawnkan kat kitorang dari CAA....so bleh la concentrate dengan task bos tu..dapat gak siap petang tu..hujan lagi kat luar sana,alhamdulillah masa nak balik tu dah berenti dah...oh ye besok berbuka kat sheraton hotel..hmm makan besar lagi...tapi arini berbuka masak sendiri kat umah..sorang je pun kat rumah...masak nasik,goreng telur,ikan bilis dengan lauk serunding daging........


"Sebab"

Aku bukan insan yg sempurna
Seperti banyak perkara yg diingini tidak ku lakukan
Tetapi daku terus belajar
Tidak pernah bermaksud untuk melakukan semua itu terhadapmu
Dan juga terpaksa ku katakannya sebelum daku pergi
Yang aku hanya ingin kau tahu

Aku menemui sebab untukku

Mengubah siapa sepatutnya ku jadi
Sebab untuk bermula sesuatu yg baru
Dan sebabnya adalah dirimu

Maafkan daku yang melukai dirimu

Sesuatu yang mesti kulalui setiap hari
Dan semua keperitan yg kuberikan kepadamu
Ku harap dapat tanggungi nya semua
Dan menjadi satu satunya orang yang mengubati tangisanmu
Itulah sebabnya ku ingin kau dengari

Aku menemui sebab untukku

Mengubah siapa sepatutnya ku jadi
Sebab untuk bermula sesuatu yg baru
Dan sebabnya adalah dirimu

Aku bukan insan yg sempurna

Tidak pernah bermaksud untuk melakukan semua itu terhadapmu
Dan juga terpaksa ku katakannya sebelum daku pergi
Yang aku hanya ingin kau tahu

Aku menemui sebab untukku

Mengubah siapa sepatutnya ku jadi
Sebab untuk bermula sesuatu yg baru
Dan sebabnya adalah dirimu

Aku menemui sebab untuk menerangkan

Sebahagian diriku yang kamu tidak tahu
Sebab untuk semua yang ku lakukan
Dan sebabnya adalah kamu

-olahan dari lirik sebenar Hoobastank - The Reason-